freaks me out

but I can’t stop watching…

$35000 a bottle

Remy Martin Louis XIII Black Pearl retailing at $35K this holiday season. You’re a failure if you don’t get at least one.

beer taps

Beer dispensers by MicroMatic with LCD screens will set you back around $3K.

the end

I considered not even writing about this, but it must be done. This is the end of human civilization as we know it. Someone has written a cookbook for semen. Don’t even reread the last sentence, because it gets better:

Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food. This book hopes to change that. Once you overcome any initial hesitation, you will be surprised to learn how wonderful semen is in the kitchen. Semen is an exciting ingredient that can give every dish you make an interesting twist. If you are a passionate cook and are not afraid to experiment with new ingredients – you will love this cook book!

The book is called Natural Harvest: A Collection of Semen Based Recipes

Be warned, the following image is not for the faint of heart.

I’m going to count the number of people who click on the above image and text. I bet you the numbers will be astronomical. I know exactly whats showing up in the stockings of each of my friends this holiday season, ingredients included.

Solid gold winerack

Kidding me. The design is “Fort Knox” by designer Sietze Kalkwijk. Price not yet disclosed.

Justin can’t eat

Clam chowder

You want to know what’s really absurd? I can’t just get a decent bowl of clam chowder without them putting filthy swine into it. Guys, trust me, you can still make a decent bowl of chowder without bacon. Consider it a personal challenge.